Hello, readers (if you even exist—lol)!
It’s been ages since I last updated this space. Life has been hectic, and priorities had to shift. But tonight, after years of not writing, I suddenly felt the urge to put my thoughts into words again. Haha! Sure, I’ve had a few writing stints here and there—mostly for my nephews’ school projects—but nothing truly for myself. So, where do I begin?
It’s 2025, and here I am on a Sunday (or more precisely, 12:39 AM) trying to convince myself that this post will make sense. LOL. Right. Time to get serious!
In just a few weeks, I’ll be turning 40—yes, the big 4-0! Forty years on this earth—can you believe that? It’s made me reflect on a lot: decisions I’ve made, regrets I carry, things I still question. But despite all the chaos swirling in my head, one emotion stands out—gratitude. Because really, not everyone gets to exist this long, right?
So, I want to thank God for the gift of life. It’s not perfect, but somehow, it’s fair. And I think my greatest blessing is family—knowing that even when things don’t go my way, I have a support system that always has my back. I especially thank my mother, who, despite my shortcomings, has never stopped loving and supporting me. Being with her and taking care of her is something I will never regret. There are moments when I feel purposeless, but knowing that I’m able to give back even a fraction of the love she has given us all her life—that makes me feel accomplished.
A huge thanks to my siblings, who have been my rock through the years. I truly can’t imagine life without them, which is why it pains me to see one of them (sort of) drifting away. Maybe it’s growth, maybe it’s maturity—but can it really be called growth if it comes at the cost of hurting the people who love you most?
I don’t want to sound selfish or ungrateful, but there’s an undeniable shift in the air—something that feels different, unfamiliar. As much as I miss the way things used to be, I know I can’t control how people change. Still, a part of me wishes things didn’t have to feel so distant. More than anything, my deepest wish for my sibling is that she isn’t mistreated by the new community she now considers family. I hope she finds genuine care, respect, and kindness—that she never has to question her worth or feel trapped in a place that doesn’t truly nurture her. I hope she becomes more aware of her family's (especially mom's) feelings.
While I can’t control her choices, I can only hope she remembers that she has people who will always stand by her, love her, and protect her when needed. No matter how far she drifts, she will always have a home with us.
Okay. Enough with the drama! LMAO
A heartfelt thank you to my friends—always there for me, even if not always physically. Lol. Your encouragement and unwavering support in helping me grow as a person never go unnoticed. But let’s be real—your friend here is stubborn. Lol.
Thank you, Lord, for waking me up each morning. To me, it’s a quiet reassurance that I still have a purpose here on earth, even if I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.
It’s raining tonight, and for some reason, I suddenly miss my Lola. There’s something about the rain—it carries memories of her, whispers of the past, a feeling I can’t quite explain but always recognize.
Anyway, this is getting long and getting nowhere at the same time. Haha! Felt good to have poured out a bit of what I'm feeling right now. To whoever is reading this, stay grateful and stay safe!
