What's next?

Have you ever been completely clueless about something in your life particularly about what's ahead for you in the future or maybe your purpose of existence?  It may sound weird but this state of total "bumness" that I am in right now makes me wonder about those things. Haha!

I've been here actually. But this time, I'm pretty sure it's worse. Moving forward after leaving a life I was so used to a year ago was really THE biggest decision I should've taken more seriously. Ugh! 

And after a year, the biggest question I'm still trying to answer is "What's next?"

Yeah, yeah. Things happened and there's no sense in regretting now. And come to think of it, there's really no one to blame about everything that's happened but myself. It's just that starting from scratch was really harder than I thought.   

But what's good about what's happening to me right now is that I'm getting to know myself more and more.  I've learned to care more about how I look and about how I carry myself in front of people. Also, I am getting stronger facing the world knowing that one day, things will turn out the way I want them. I have also developed that renewed sense of faith; that God is the only one who understands what I'm going through right now.

I basically have what I need but I know life can get better if I help make it better for us. Material things can't make you happy, PURPOSE and that sense of usefulness will. And that's what I need to have/find out. Only then will I feel complete and useful again.

On a lighter note and to those who care, LOL, I just got back from a two-month vacation again in SG. I intentionally overate and eventually gained a few pounds because my mom didn't like how I look last year. Haha! And yes, still struggling to settle down, career-wise. Somebody land me a job already! LOL

Holy Wednesday Random Thoughts

It's 12:55 in the morning and I am still wide awake.

I've just finished working for different farms tonight. Haha! Well, if you're wondering what "farms" I am talking about, it's this new networking game over Facebook where you play as a farmer and try to develop your own farm. It's fun and really addicting. Me and my sister were already hooked by that game. It's called Farm Town, by the way. To date, I already have two cows, one sheep, two pigs, and a chicken. I also have fruit-bearing trees such as plum, orange, apple, pear, and banana. I've just plowed and planted new seeds tonight. Maybe in two days, I'll be harvesting them already. That would mean more money for me to buy stuff for the farm. Hmm...if only farming was that ideal and fun, I'd rather be a farmer! LOL.

Another thing that keeps me up late this hour is plurking. It was only last month that I created my account and to date, my karma has gone up to 60.54 already and increasing. I also already have a fan. LOL. Plurking, unlike any other social networking sites better works for me as I love to post shoutouts or things in my mind that I think are worth sharing.

Anyway, I've been planning on writing this entry last Friday as I was very happy that my mother already gave her blessing for me to go to my much-awaited concert for this year -- the David Archuleta- David Cook concert! I am so glad that I didn't have to beg that much because she really understands how big a fan I am of David. Besides, she even mentioned once that we all have our own vices. And mine's music. Hehe. I am just so glad that she allowed me. Kudos also to my sister who helped me convinced her. The thing, though, is that I would have to pay my own ticket. Haha! Anyway, I've been planning for this in a long time and I know I can do this.

Also, I've been on leave for two days now since it's holy week and I'm spending the vacation in Laguna. Nothing special has happened, though. Hehe. Thank heavens I have Internet connection at home that I got to open my mailbox today and found out several pending tasks that I had to attend to this morning. Guh! Joke!

Okay. Randomness in its truest definition. LOL. So I guess I'll be ending this post here. Have a meaningful holy week everyone.

Relax. Reflect. Refresh.

xoxo! Benjo.