Grow Up!

What do you really want in life?

I've been asking myself this question over and over after earlier's interview by a former boss. It was a lousy but one of the most memorable job interviews I've had. I was the one who's lousy, well, maybe because I've known her before and that gave me enough confidence that it'll just be more of a chitchat rather than an interview. 

And I was wrong! Haha! It's like I've entered a war totally unprepared. And when that magic question, "Where do you see yourself in the future?," popped out, I was like --

I don't even remember the exact answer I've given or if that's really where I see myself a few years more. I was totally frazzled. What I remember clearly was telling my ex-boss, "Ang hirap po pala maging adult," and she burst into laughter.

I had to let go of all my inhibitions that time and tell her what I've been through when I left the company and what I feel at this stage in my life. And I was so glad that she completely understands me. She was really kind. That's mainly the reason why I admire her and her family. They're rich but they surely know how to value their people even though they've parted ways with them already. 

At the end of our conversation, she gave me tips on where to start. She told me it's never too late at my age. However, everything expires so I should hurry up. She totally understands that, career-wise, I'd still want to explore a lot of things but she also emphasized that it's time to GROW UP. Makes sense. I've been going with the flow for too long. I'm 28 and clueless. 

I guess I should ask myself that "What do you really want in life?" question more often until I figure out the answer. Oh well!

What Keeps Me Going

It's 12:40 in the morning, Maundy Thursday, and I suddenly felt the need to write. I dunno what's gotten into me this morning but I just know that I have to release these thoughts (and Twitter wasn't helping at all! LOL). Well, let's just say this is my way of reflecting. :P

Okay. So where do I begin? Uhm, It's been almost two months already since I left home. Yes, as of this writing, I am currently in Singapore, UNEMPLOYED, and looking for career opportunities here. It was never easy to let go of my previous job. In fact, it was one of the toughest decisions I've made in my entire life. It's like I've left a life and was born again. It was painful but I would like to believe that God paved the way because it's part of His plans for me. It would not have happened flawlessly if He thinks that I'm not ready yet to face another chapter in my life.

So SG was "that" next phase (or is it?). While I was a bit nervous about this SG thing, I was also hopeful and excited to see what it's like to be in a foreign land. I was idealistic. My plan was to go on vacation for a month and cram job hunting on the second month. Haha! Yeah, that's how idealistic I was when I got here. So the first week, I did nothing but go here and there, eat, explore, have fun. It became easy for me to fall in love with the place. I mean, who wouldn't? SG is such a peaceful place to live in. Well, it's just expensive. So having realized that, I had to act fast and look for a job already if I want to stay longer.

Weeks of job hunting passed and still there was no luck. I've been to career expos, bought broadsheets on a daily basis just for that Classified Ads section, searched the Internet and even sought the aid of agencies but they didn't bring me any good news. Finally, a job offer came in with the help of my brother but it wasn't in line with my background. It's a totally different field, which is Architecture. What do I know about Architecture?! Lol So I've decided to turn down the offer and just wait for other opportunities. Well, I maybe wrong since my days here are already numbered. Haha! I'm bound to go home in two weeks if I won't still get employed. But my heart tells me that I did the right thing and I know that God won't let me be in situation that I could not bear.

What's surprising is the fact that I still get to smile and be positive despite all of these "not-so-good" things happening in my career right now. I dunno. I just feel that no matter what, God will always be there for me and that my story is still being written so I should not feel down. If I were my old self, I would've drown myself into depression already. Haha! But thinking about all the blessings that He has given me all these years, I think I couldn't ask for more. I sometimes feel sad that my life's moving slowly these days but I know that He's now working on His plans for me and I am excited about that. I know that despite the sins I have and been committing, He's always there to forgive.

Of course, I wouldn't be this optimistic without my family and close friends beside me who have been very supportive. I feel sooooo loved and that's very important -- the assurance that no matter what comes, they will always be there.

Okay. This is already sounding like the credits page of a music album. LOL. I'm sleepy. Here's hoping to a brighter day. I think I'm okay now. I mean, whatever happens tomorrow, I'm prepared. Thank you Lord and I love you. Thank you for always clearing up my mind. :)