Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hump Day Thoughts

Well, hey! It's my third month here in Singapore and by this time, I am proud (with sarcasm) to say that I am still unemployed.  Yeah,  fate's not been so good to me here or maybe just teaching me a lesson. Haha!  

Seriously speaking -- or writing -- I should be weeping already by now, well, if I were my old self.  It's no joke that I left a job for an uncertain future here.  I just left everything behind just like that to think that I was already earning enough in the Philippines.  Well, enough to sustain the life I was living and enough to regularly share a portion to the family.  

I could say that this journey is one of the most challenging life transitions I've faced. The uncertainty of the future really creeps me out.  But if someone will ask me if I regret anything, I'll proudly say NONE!  Yeah, none at all. :)

The decision to leave my previous job wasn't easy but it was something that had to be done.  Looking back, I think that even without this Singapore plan, I would've still resigned and look for another job.  It might sound like my job was too bad (in every way) but honestly, it wasn't.  It was actually the best job anyone could aspire for.  I wouldn't have spent almost four years in the Foundation if it was that bad.  Haha!  So what made me leave? Uhm, let's just say I was not enjoying the drama anymore and the mood wasn't as lively as it used to be.  And that somehow depressed me.

Hadn't I took the courage to do that, I wouldn't have experienced this awesome long vacation with the entire family.  Hadn't I did what I did, I wouldn't have realized a lot of things.  First, it's really more fun in the Philippines.  You maybe somewhere in the globe right now but there will come a point where you will wish to just go back.  It's not fun living in a place where you are treated as a second class citizen.  Not that I am discriminated here but being surrounded by egoistic people makes me homesick.  I've also realized that money can't overpower pride.  Most kababayans I've spoke with here told me to just grab any job that's available.  I've considered that but thinking thoroughly, I just think that it's a desperate move.  Not that I am being choosy or anything but I just can't picture myself working in a restaurant or a mall selling products.  I mean that would be the most desperate thing I'll do for money.

Whatever happens in my remaining days here, I'll just accept it.  After all, I still have a home to go back to.  I think God wanted me to experience all of this to show me how lucky I am compared to some.  He gave me options.  He made me see that it's not a wonderland out there, abroad.  And also, this break re-energized me, made me want to do things and apply for jobs that suit me.

The future is still uncertain, but I'll be tougher.  I'll stay positive and face every day with confidence for I know that God is with me.  Everything will be okay in His time.  :)