Grow Up!

What do you really want in life?

I've been asking myself this question over and over after earlier's interview by a former boss. It was a lousy but one of the most memorable job interviews I've had. I was the one who's lousy, well, maybe because I've known her before and that gave me enough confidence that it'll just be more of a chitchat rather than an interview. 

And I was wrong! Haha! It's like I've entered a war totally unprepared. And when that magic question, "Where do you see yourself in the future?," popped out, I was like --

I don't even remember the exact answer I've given or if that's really where I see myself a few years more. I was totally frazzled. What I remember clearly was telling my ex-boss, "Ang hirap po pala maging adult," and she burst into laughter.

I had to let go of all my inhibitions that time and tell her what I've been through when I left the company and what I feel at this stage in my life. And I was so glad that she completely understands me. She was really kind. That's mainly the reason why I admire her and her family. They're rich but they surely know how to value their people even though they've parted ways with them already. 

At the end of our conversation, she gave me tips on where to start. She told me it's never too late at my age. However, everything expires so I should hurry up. She totally understands that, career-wise, I'd still want to explore a lot of things but she also emphasized that it's time to GROW UP. Makes sense. I've been going with the flow for too long. I'm 28 and clueless. 

I guess I should ask myself that "What do you really want in life?" question more often until I figure out the answer. Oh well!

Birthday "Gifs" and Random Thoughts

Finally got the inspiration to write again tonight. But seriously, what's there to write about?! Haha! I'm writing this post with my mom in the background playing mobile games on her phone and seriously, I don't know the relevance of telling that. That's how random this post is gonna get. LOL

My emotions are high again the past few days. For one, I am turning 28 tomorrow and another thing is that I am still "idle" up until now. I feel like I've just wasted my 27th year "going with the flow." That sucks, right?

 

Relatively, though, I am still blessed compared to those who really don't have much in life. I still get to travel, eat good food and buy what I want (thanks to my family!). The only difference is that lack of self fulfillment I once had. How can someone who's been living a structured life for the past 26 years be so lost now?

    

LOL. I am not weeping. I just think that this can't go on forever. There's a lot of stuff about self-improvement going on in my mind right now but I really (STILL) don't know where to start.

I feel like I didn't grow up. And I really don't know what's ahead of me. All I know is that I need to get out of this situation as I keep telling myself over and over again. My life right now is like:

Not really getting anywhere.

It's a good thing that I am always in constant communication with my family and REAL friends who have been very supportive. It's like I'm still doing the right thing even though I know in my heart it's not. Haha! Snap! Snap!

One thing about being idle is that you have plenty of time to think. But most of the time, I tend to over think. And it really sucks to the point that I get paranoid over something. Ugh!

But if there's one good thing that this idleness has given me is that I've learned to be patient and go back to the things that used to make me happy. I am slowly discovering myself.

I've also learned that in the end, there's no one there to help you but yourself. It's your life! There are real friends of course and your family and you must treasure them. The others, they're just curious about what stupid stuff you'll do and will just gossip about them. Well, I'm used to them.

Lastly, I know that what I am going through right now isn't permanent. God has a reason for this; a bigger plan, maybe? And that's basically the reason why I still get to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and a positive attitude.

There are still a lot of reasons to be thankful for. The fact that I've been existing for 28 years now is one, and there are many others. 

I may have down times and struggles but I know that these things will not stop me from believing. I maybe lost right now but I am definitely trying to find my way out. I maybe broke but I am not broken. Life may get me down but I'll definitely get up.

This journey will go on and I will not stop. With God guiding me, I know I will never be wrong. To my friends and loved ones, THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE! I am forever grateful. 

To my fake friends and detractors,

Kidding! Hahaha! God bless you! :)

Damn! This is such a long entry. I don't even know how to end it. Oh! well, Let's just all be happy. :)

It's my birthday in a few hours and I am partayyin! LOL

The USS Saga: "Riding the Movies Pt. 2"

“The spectacles of experience; through them you will see clearly a second time.” 

- Henrik Ibsen

And for us, that second time isn't next year or the next but this year! Haha! Well, I am referring to our second visit to Universal Studios Singapore to experience the other attractions we failed to visit the first time we went there.

Just a few moths after our first USS trip, my sister immediately booked us again for the second time. Our aim this time around was to be able to try all the rides (including the killer ones) and to take as much photos as we want since we weren't able to do that the first time because of the rain. It's just sad that Gab, our little kid, wasn't around this time because of school. We were with one of my aunts, though.

Anyway, the feeling was just like the first time - excited! 

What we did was we initially went to the few rides and attractions we haven't seen yet before we headed off to the killer rides. The highlight of the tour (well, at least for us!) was when me and my sister finally decided to ride this red giant roller coaster that is intertwined with another blue giant roller coaster. The difference is that the blue one isn't your ordinary type because it flips you upside down and you have nothing to step on to, which makes it scarier.

It was the ride of my life! After that one long spin, I felt like my head was cut off. LOL Seriously, it was the scariest ride I've ever tried so far but left me this itch to try it once more. Haha! Well, it was a good start for the two of us who are not really "extreme riders."

Anyway, photos below:

Mom, Tita, Charlie Chaplin & sis

Welcome to my kingdom!

Waterworld

My scene-stealer sister (LOLJK) with The Rockefellers a.k.a The Streetboys

Us and some unknown pips on the background

Oh! Just me. Lol

Battlestar Gallactica: Killer Roller Coasters

Riding the Movies at USS!

Here we go!

Who doesn't love theme parks?!

For kids, theme parks are places where they get to live their fantasies. For young at hearts like me, these are the places where we get to be children again. I will always be grateful to my sister for having the passion to squeeze in leisure time with us despite her busy work schedule. I can't help but feel guilty that I should be helping her with these things but I am really -- financially -- powerless as of the moment. I am of help, though, in terms of the entertainment. Haha!

Anyway, it was a Saturday and the weather wasn't in our favor. It was raining. But since we had it scheduled already, there was no stopping us. Universal Studios it is! 

We left the house at about 8:00 in the morning since the park opens at 10:00 and we still have to queue for tickets. Battling the long queue wasn't really the difficult part but it was the rain that poured that day that ruined the entire experience. We were wearing raincoats (almost) the entire day while we go to the different attractions inside the theme park.  Worst part was that we barely had decent photos. But we sure didn't leave without taking enough.

Overall, the experience was awesome! It was worth what we paid for. Rides were fun and unique. My favorite ride would have to be "The Mummy Returns" because it was so unpredictable. It was both scary and exciting. It's like the "stop-this-thing-but-I-want-more" kind of fun. Wait, what?! Haha!

We made sure we've had every area covered but too bad I wasn't able to try the park's killer rides because I was hoping I'd get moral support from my mom but no! LOL When she saw the two intertwined giant roller coasters, she immediately prompt me not to even think of riding them. And the obedient son in me just said, "okay!"

But there will definitely be a next time. I swear! :P

Gab, my sister and mom at the Lost World area

Mom & I at the Ancient Egypt area

Hollywood Dreams Parade

Mirror, Mirror

With Gab

     

All About Summer

It's the season of the sun, sand, and the beach! And while I am not really fond of how hot the atmosphere is during this time, I took time to experience a few activities under the scorching heat. It was fun! :)

The Beach

I started loving the beach when I went to Subic during one of our company outings. The morning after we got there, I made sure I'd wake up early just to walk along the shores while listening to my playlist. 

I loved the serenity that the experience brought me. It may sound corny or something but it really helped me meditate (and God knows I needed that, that time! Haha!) and realign my thoughts.

Since then, my suggestion of a perfect getaway would always be to go to the beach. But I haven't been to the popular ones yet because I still lack the resources to make things happen. LOL 

This year, we went again to Palawan beach in Singapore just to feel the sands on our feet and soak on the salty water. Moreover, I was there to contemplate and just appreciate how lucky I am living this life.

Newly-Found Hobbies

I don't know if it's actually a good thing about having elder brothers that they will make you do things you haven't tried before and they won't take "NO" for an answer. LOL 

In my case, it was trolley-ing. Well, biking was the first hobby they attempted to teach me when I was kid. They failed because I really have a problem balancing myself. Lest my mom would get mad at them when I get hurt, they stopped. Haha!

But this time, I had to obey even at the expense of having bruises on my feet and ankles. Yeah! I got a few but they were worth the fun I've had and in fact, as of this time, I can already flawlessly ride a trolley! Wee! :)

Nothing is really ever achieved without going through a few bumps along the way, right?

We've been also going to a clubhouse near our house where you can swim all you want and dine in after at a cafe or a restaurant also within the establishment.  It also has a gym, massage chairs, a cozy lounge, tennis courts, a bowling center and other amenities. Some of them are limited to members only, though.

I'm no swimmer but I love being in the water. And the good thing about the clubhouse's pool is that it has a Jacuzzi area where you can just stay there and let the water massage you. Mom loves that area so much! :P  



Fish Spa

Another first! :P

I don't know what's gotten into my sister's mind that one summer Sunday and she asked me and my mom to go to this massage parlor offering fish spa service.  She said she's been wanting to try that for quite some time already and thought it was the perfect since we are here with her.

The experience was fun! We were like crazy individuals smiling at each other while tiny fishes tickle our feet. Homemade tea was also served while we enjoy soaking our feet on a tank filled with "doctor fishes" as they call them.

After the session, you'll actually notice that your skin has gotten thinner and smoother so I guess doctor fishes do their job well. :P

SG Explorations

The year started very generously to me as I have had the opportunity, again, to travel to Singapore with the family.  It's bumness at its finest! LOL 

Here are some of the most memorable SG places and events we've been to last January and February:

Sentosa Flower Festival

We celebrated Chinese New Year by attending Sentosa Flower Festival.  It's where tons of flowers (and oranges) are showcased in different forms. I'm not really fond of flowers but the way they were presented was really amazing. 

The exhibition was a long walk under the scorching heat of the sun but it was worth it. 

Singapore Botanic Gardens

It was just an ordinary day turned extraordinary when we decided to drop by Botanic Gardens. It was already about 6:00 in the afternoon and it was about to rain so we were not able to go through the entire garden but it was fun. 

The place is very quiet and has a lot of areas perfect for family picnics. 

Gardens By The Bay

This is definitely the biggest air-conditioned garden I've been to! Haha! You will definitely love this place even if you are not a fan of plants and flowers because the place itself is really amazing. I was also amazed by the structure of it and the various areas outside that are open to the public. Perfect if you love photoshoots.

Me, mom and sis

Inside the garden

Somewhere along Marina Bay also during Chinese New Year

Finally, Merlion! LOL

 

What's next?

Have you ever been completely clueless about something in your life particularly about what's ahead for you in the future or maybe your purpose of existence?  It may sound weird but this state of total "bumness" that I am in right now makes me wonder about those things. Haha!

I've been here actually. But this time, I'm pretty sure it's worse. Moving forward after leaving a life I was so used to a year ago was really THE biggest decision I should've taken more seriously. Ugh! 

And after a year, the biggest question I'm still trying to answer is "What's next?"

Yeah, yeah. Things happened and there's no sense in regretting now. And come to think of it, there's really no one to blame about everything that's happened but myself. It's just that starting from scratch was really harder than I thought.   

But what's good about what's happening to me right now is that I'm getting to know myself more and more.  I've learned to care more about how I look and about how I carry myself in front of people. Also, I am getting stronger facing the world knowing that one day, things will turn out the way I want them. I have also developed that renewed sense of faith; that God is the only one who understands what I'm going through right now.

I basically have what I need but I know life can get better if I help make it better for us. Material things can't make you happy, PURPOSE and that sense of usefulness will. And that's what I need to have/find out. Only then will I feel complete and useful again.

On a lighter note and to those who care, LOL, I just got back from a two-month vacation again in SG. I intentionally overate and eventually gained a few pounds because my mom didn't like how I look last year. Haha! And yes, still struggling to settle down, career-wise. Somebody land me a job already! LOL