Saturday, December 29, 2012

Postponed Apocalypse: A Lookback at 2012

First up, let me congratulate all of us for surviving the end of the world! Yipee! No, seriously, we should be thankful.

Okay. So it's that time of year again when all I can think about is fast-forwarding the days so I can start anew. I've always believed that New Year isn't just celebrated because it's a tradition that has to keep going. For me, New Year symbolizes new beginning -- the opportunity to be on track again despite all the bad things, wrong decisions or problems you've had from the past year. It's like starting all over again from a clean slate trying to apply all the lessons you've learned from all your experiences from the previous year.  

If I am to describe my 2012, I'd probably say that it wasn't the best year but not even the worst, though. Yeah, I am (still) broke, jobless and drifted but I didn't struggle that much to live a day of my life. I mean, thanks to my family who's always been so supportive of me. And while most people would think that it's fun being a total bum, it's not! Spending most of your time doing nothing but thinking about how a day will go is sooooo boring! I did try looking for jobs out there but I guess I'm just too OC that I want my next job to be perfect just like my previous one. It's like I'm looking for the love of my life and without that "spark" I'm looking for, it will never work out.  And so later on, I got tired of searching and just stick to me and my siblings' "master plan" (which, by the way, is a secret! LOL). Luckily, I got the Internet, TV, and a few events with friends and family that got me busy with and kept me sane while waiting for 2013. Haha! 

Basically, 2012 was my year for reflection. This year, I got to realize a lot of things about myself and life. One of the most important things that I've realized is that I AM BLESSED. When we're down, we tend to see everything negatively that we forget to count our blessings. I think it's just natural to be depressed for a certain period but things won't change if you'll continue to be like that, right? We all go through tough times. I'm just so proud of myself because I have developed this attitude to not dwell on the negative side of things but instead acknowledge the blessings that God had and has been showering me for the last 27 years. He may have led me to a blurry path for now but I know that this is all part of His plan. Prayers are the best way to deal with all the worries you have and just bear in mind that the situation where you are right now is just a phase. It will pass eventually. I am just so thankful for the gift of health, love and harmony in the family and that we were not affected by all the major catastrophes that happened in the country.

Another major blessing this year was the birth of an angel we call Gian, my first nephew. And I am just so glad that I was there when he was born. He's turning two months in a few weeks and the excitement to see him grow up is always there. He's one of the reasons why I so want to get back to work again and earn so I can buy him stuff and spoil him with things that he would probably want. Haha! I love him!

Anyway, I also turned 27 this year and at my age, I really should be investing and saving for the future. My priorities shifted from "earning for pleasure" to "earning for the future" and I hope that this won't change even when I'm already busy with my next job. Dang! I wish that's soon! 

This year also, I had to refrain from dieting and going to the gym for a while since my mom isn't happy with my thinness anymore. Just when I'm about to have abs already! Kidding! Haha! But, yeah, I'm trying to gain a few pounds right now so I that I can start a new and more effective workout program maybe mid next year when I'm already settled (hopefully) with my new job.

On my love life, well, my relationships with music and TV and the Internet are okay so I guess I'm good. Haha! Crap! 

Alright. I guess that's about it for my 2012 and I am already sleepy. I didn't even plan on blogging tonight but I'm glad I did because it felt really good. :)  

Happy New Year!  2013 will be fantastic and I am claiming it!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

On Pragmatism and Focus

Fit as a fiddle but my mind has been restless these past few days. I dunno, but the more I stay at home and do nothing, the more I'm urged to go out and be busy. Boredom kills and the fact that my allowance is limited is also something to worry about. Haha! 

Well, I guess I'd have to deal with my current situation for quite some time until I finally get back to work. 

Problem is, WHERE'S WORK?! Haha! 

It's been a month now since I came back from that SG journey and I am still a bum. It's not that I didn't have job interviews or offers. In fact, I've had five already and even turned down one sure job opportunity in search of a better option (the rest, I'm still waiting). I don't know if that's another bad decision but all I know is that if you think you deserve better, then push for it; go for the best. I just hope that God won't get tired of giving me chances and won't punish me for being too choosy. ILY, Lord! :) 

When I asked my mom earlier, "Nay, san kaya next kong work?," she told me, "Sa kangkungan!" and I was like, "Ang supportive nyo lang ha!" And we both laughed. I know she wanted to stress something to me with those words. That's what I like about my mom. She knows how to live life. I know that she feels what I feel but makes it a point not to miss out on the "magical moments" a day brings. Unlike me who thinks a lot about the future and ends up frowning. Haha!  

To a certain extent, I think I get what she implied. I've been given options but when something concrete's about to materialize, I change my mind and challenge myself even more. I don't see anything wrong with being ambitious but I guess I also need to be pragmatic. Wonders don't happen in a snap. If I wanna get THERE, I have to start SOMEWHERE! 

Realigning my career was one. Finding a training ground is another. My previous employment , although a happy one, had its flaws, too. My job title didn't match the things that I was actually doing for the organization. Crazy, huh? Yeah. Long story, though. Now, I chose to penetrate the Communications World where I know I should be and it has been a challenge for me to explain every now and then to new employers about what I used to do. But that's that and I have to deal with it.   

So far, I'm still hopeful that I'll land my envisioned job soon and in a company that will really exhaust my talents. I know I have a lot to give. A chance is all I need. 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Lessons from Santiago

Since I am still living the life of a bum, my objective everyday is to look for things that will keep me occupied. Haha! Yeah. Most people would probably envy my lifestyle but it's not easy, I'm telling you! LOL

Anyway, a few days ago, I was able to finally get back into reading. I've been reading (or should I say 'just browsing') David Archuleta's autobiography (Chords Of Strength) for like years already since I bought it in 2008 (I think) and still fail at finishing the book because I was so busy working back then. I saw this employment break as the chance to finish it. Voila! Downed it in a day. I just felt that it was an obligation, as a fan, to read it. :)  

The following day, which was yesterday, I started reading Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. A college friend lent me this book during one of those gimmicks we've had when I was still in Manila. I think she saw the need for me to read Coelho's words and lessons as I was so unsteady that time with life in general. When she gave me that book, I managed to flip through the first few pages and eventually got bored. Haha! I dunno. It's just that back when I still have work, all I wanted to do was work and play. So fast forward, I finished the book today.  

Took me two days but with breaks, of course, since I also have gym and other activities. So why am I sharing this? Haha! Well, I'm not here to review the book because I don't think I have the capacity to do it. And besides, I think most people have already read this. I just want to share the impact that the book had on me.

Timely reading. That's how I put it. The book was here in my drawer for so long and it was only now that I came to discover this treasure. As what the book would always say, Maktub! (It's all written!) I was meant to have read this NOW. I think this is God's way of telling me "Everything will be alright. You'll see." 

I love how Coelho captured the emotions and worries I have right now and replaced them with optimism. I love how he presented life's lessons in a simple story that almost everyone could understand. Somehow, the book managed to straighten the path I'm taking right now and made it clearer. It's still blurry, though, but I see life now in a different light -- that all the things happening to us right now are just parts of the bigger picture; of our own "Personal Legends." God is just showing us the beauty of life through experiences but eventually, He'll lead us to our  respective treasures.

After reading the book, I immediately sent my friend (the one who lent me this) a message via Facebook, thanking her and apologizing for not returning the book yet. Haha! She was so happy that I finally got to finish it. But more to that, she was happy that I was able to decipher the lessons it has. She even gave me the book already so I can repeat it whenever I want to. LOL

I also think I've gone a bit crazy after reading it since I would share life lessons to my cousins out of nowhere. Haha! And even though they won't take me seriously, I know in my heart that I have been touched by this book.

So who's willing to lend me more Coelho novels? Haha! Guess I'll have to invest. 

By the way, Santiago is the name of the lead character in the book. :p

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I (insert heart icon) SG

I AM SO BACK!  Yup. After three months of vacation slash career hunting slash soul searching, I have finally decided to give up (for the meantime) the SG life with siblings. Of course given the opportunity, I would have wanted to stay there.  Singapore is such a nice place.  

Anyway, I'm back to square one.  

Thoughts kept running as I stepped on the plane going back. It felt like I have nowhere to go. I have so many plans in mind. Plans that weren't there before when I was working.  It was just stupid of me not to think about these things when I still have the resources to make them happen. Life is just...abstruse! Lol  

Next step? MOVE ON FORWARD!  Yep! That's how life is.  You fall down, you get back up. You lose this time, you win the next round.  I still believe that life is fair.  How you face life makes the difference.     

While I am already enjoying my comeback, I still miss Singapore sometimes and wish I'm still there. Aside from my siblings and my sisters-in-law, what I miss the most are the places there that I have already considered my sanctuaries.  

Henderson Waves

Famous for its unique design, the Henderson Waves is definitely one of my favorite jogging places when I was in SG.  

I usually spend at least three hours here just running and listening to my music.  I would stop at the middle of the bridge and would look at the view, trying to clear my mind as the day ends.  At the end of the bridge, a drink vending machine awaits me. I always make it a point to bring at least a dollar and 20 cents in my pocket for energy drink.

Labrador Park

My favorite park among all the rest we've been to. Nothing special about it actually but the view is just spectacular specially the sunset.  If you will go there in the afternoon, you would see a lot of amateur photographers trying to capture a good shot of it.  As for me, I only had my phone when I took this. I usually go to the place just to run.  Not that bad, right? :)

While I was in SG, I have also developed that love for beaches. I dunno, it just feels so serene when you're looking at the sea and hearing the waves reach the shore.  

Keppel Bay
Another jogging area that is close to the sea, the Keppel Bay is where all the rich's boats are located. LOL  

This is also where the infamous Reflections at Keppel Bay, an expensive residential establishment, is located.  And just a small trivia, my brother was part of the team behind that structure. 

There's this wooden path going to Labrador Park in this area where I regularly take. I don't know how exactly far it is from here to Labrador but it usually take me an hour to get there. I would stop for a while to take photos and to stretch my feet then run my way back home.

I guess the best outcome of that 3-month journey was my physique.  LOL  Obviously (as in really obvious!), I lost so much weight and got slimmer. I honestly didn't notice it until my mom prompted me. Yeah, before, I was running to be fit but later on, I was just running because I love to.   

(Sigh) Hopefully I could still come back in SG soon. I hope when my mom goes back this November, I'd be able to join her.  Oh well, that'll have to wait. This time, I should focus on what career to pursue. Hopefully better than the previous one so I can start with all my life plans already. And I am so excited about it. Weee! :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hump Day Thoughts

Well, hey! It's my third month here in Singapore and by this time, I am proud (with sarcasm) to say that I am still unemployed.  Yeah,  fate's not been so good to me here or maybe just teaching me a lesson. Haha!  

Seriously speaking -- or writing -- I should be weeping already by now, well, if I were my old self.  It's no joke that I left a job for an uncertain future here.  I just left everything behind just like that to think that I was already earning enough in the Philippines.  Well, enough to sustain the life I was living and enough to regularly share a portion to the family.  

I could say that this journey is one of the most challenging life transitions I've faced. The uncertainty of the future really creeps me out.  But if someone will ask me if I regret anything, I'll proudly say NONE!  Yeah, none at all. :)

The decision to leave my previous job wasn't easy but it was something that had to be done.  Looking back, I think that even without this Singapore plan, I would've still resigned and look for another job.  It might sound like my job was too bad (in every way) but honestly, it wasn't.  It was actually the best job anyone could aspire for.  I wouldn't have spent almost four years in the Foundation if it was that bad.  Haha!  So what made me leave? Uhm, let's just say I was not enjoying the drama anymore and the mood wasn't as lively as it used to be.  And that somehow depressed me.

Hadn't I took the courage to do that, I wouldn't have experienced this awesome long vacation with the entire family.  Hadn't I did what I did, I wouldn't have realized a lot of things.  First, it's really more fun in the Philippines.  You maybe somewhere in the globe right now but there will come a point where you will wish to just go back.  It's not fun living in a place where you are treated as a second class citizen.  Not that I am discriminated here but being surrounded by egoistic people makes me homesick.  I've also realized that money can't overpower pride.  Most kababayans I've spoke with here told me to just grab any job that's available.  I've considered that but thinking thoroughly, I just think that it's a desperate move.  Not that I am being choosy or anything but I just can't picture myself working in a restaurant or a mall selling products.  I mean that would be the most desperate thing I'll do for money.

Whatever happens in my remaining days here, I'll just accept it.  After all, I still have a home to go back to.  I think God wanted me to experience all of this to show me how lucky I am compared to some.  He gave me options.  He made me see that it's not a wonderland out there, abroad.  And also, this break re-energized me, made me want to do things and apply for jobs that suit me.

The future is still uncertain, but I'll be tougher.  I'll stay positive and face every day with confidence for I know that God is with me.  Everything will be okay in His time.  :)

Friday, April 6, 2012

What Keeps Me Going

It's 12:40 in the morning, Maundy Thursday, and I suddenly felt the need to write. I dunno what's gotten into me this morning but I just know that I have to release these thoughts (and Twitter wasn't helping at all! LOL). Well, let's just say this is my way of reflecting. :P

Okay. So where do I begin? Uhm, It's been almost two months already since I left home. Yes, as of this writing, I am currently in Singapore, UNEMPLOYED, and looking for career opportunities here. It was never easy to let go of my previous job. In fact, it was one of the toughest decisions I've made in my entire life. It's like I've left a life and was born again. It was painful but I would like to believe that God paved the way because it's part of His plans for me. It would not have happened flawlessly if He thinks that I'm not ready yet to face another chapter in my life.

So SG was "that" next phase (or is it?). While I was a bit nervous about this SG thing, I was also hopeful and excited to see what it's like to be in a foreign land. I was idealistic. My plan was to go on vacation for a month and cram job hunting on the second month. Haha! Yeah, that's how idealistic I was when I got here. So the first week, I did nothing but go here and there, eat, explore, have fun. It became easy for me to fall in love with the place. I mean, who wouldn't? SG is such a peaceful place to live in. Well, it's just expensive. So having realized that, I had to act fast and look for a job already if I want to stay longer.

Weeks of job hunting passed and still there was no luck. I've been to career expos, bought broadsheets on a daily basis just for that Classified Ads section, searched the Internet and even sought the aid of agencies but they didn't bring me any good news. Finally, a job offer came in with the help of my brother but it wasn't in line with my background. It's a totally different field, which is Architecture. What do I know about Architecture?! Lol So I've decided to turn down the offer and just wait for other opportunities. Well, I maybe wrong since my days here are already numbered. Haha! I'm bound to go home in two weeks if I won't still get employed. But my heart tells me that I did the right thing and I know that God won't let me be in situation that I could not bear.

What's surprising is the fact that I still get to smile and be positive despite all of these "not-so-good" things happening in my career right now. I dunno. I just feel that no matter what, God will always be there for me and that my story is still being written so I should not feel down. If I were my old self, I would've drown myself into depression already. Haha! But thinking about all the blessings that He has given me all these years, I think I couldn't ask for more. I sometimes feel sad that my life's moving slowly these days but I know that He's now working on His plans for me and I am excited about that. I know that despite the sins I have and been committing, He's always there to forgive.

Of course, I wouldn't be this optimistic without my family and close friends beside me who have been very supportive. I feel sooooo loved and that's very important -- the assurance that no matter what comes, they will always be there.

Okay. This is already sounding like the credits page of a music album. LOL. I'm sleepy. Here's hoping to a brighter day. I think I'm okay now. I mean, whatever happens tomorrow, I'm prepared. Thank you Lord and I love you. Thank you for always clearing up my mind. :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcoming 2012!

Happy New Year!

Wow! It has been another chaotic year and I can't believe I survived it. Yes, 2011 sure did give me some of the biggest lessons in life. The previous year also gave me the biggest issues that I never thought I'd be able to deal with. But through it all, I am still grateful and thankful to God for all the blessings He has showered me.

So what's this post all about? Hmm... well, let's just say that I'm in the process of re-awakening the sleeping "storyteller" in me. Haha! It's been a while since I last felt that itch to say what's inside my head. I don't know. Maybe I was just preoccupied during the latter part of last year that blogging didn't fit in my schedule anymore. And yes, I had to deal with a lot of personal issues last year and some of them were depressing, so depressing I literally had to drag myself up in the morning just to go on with my daily routine. I never thought I would be in that situation again. Whew!

Okay. For now, I would just like to list the Top 3 highlights of my 2011 -- be it good or bad, happy or sad, whatever! Haha! I am so in the mood to write after eating so much during Media Noche.

And here goes:

Number 3: My Brother's Wedding
It was December 21 when my second elder brother and his fiancee decided to get married. I'm not really a fan of weddings and it was my first time to ever participate in one but it became so memorable. Well, maybe because it involved the entire clan and it was amazing to see your brother leap his way to another chapter in his life. Also, it kind of made me think about my future.

I also realized that change is really inevitable. In a snap, we're already grown ups. Gone are the days of playing around and doing childish stuff.

No matter how tight you want to hold on to the present, there really will come a time when you will have to make decisions on your own and marriage is just an example.

Number 2: Career Issues
2011 gave its hardest blow on my career last month when our office got "shaken up". Everything started when our President announced his early retirement and that we are having a reorganization. Next thing we know, some of our coworkers are already being retrenched. Well, it was a long story and it was the biggest surprise to all of us last year but that event made me think about what I really want to achieve and where I really want to be in the next five years. Eventually, the option to go abroad to earn and save faster popped up.

To date, things are still unstable. But things will soon fall to places when I get back to the office to file my resignation. Yes, I am resigning to try my luck in Singapore this year. I know I'll be leaving a life here in the Philippines but I know I must do this.

I also know that part of that life I will leave behind is the friendship that me and my coworkers have built. I know it's sad but I guess that's just how life is -- unpredictable!

Number 1: Heart Issues!
Did I just say heart issues?! Hahaha! Believe it or not, yes! Heart issues made up most of my 2011. And no one ever knew about that aside from my closest friends. Haha! I won't get to the details of that because I don't want to bore anyone. Haha! And besides, I've already recovered. It's been six months. Let's just say that I have learned that love exists. You feel it when it strikes you and you really get crazy when you're in love. Good thing I was able to get back to reality and realize that I am loving the wrong person. Now, I know better.

Okay. So that basically summed up my 2011. I'm sleepy and it's already 4 in the morning. I hope to write more this year and I hope that this year will be my year.

Here's to lifelong happiness and prosperity! Cheers!